Forced Changes

Nothing stays the same. and that's usually a good thing. Change is welcome when the situation you are in is not a good one or you are just plain bored with your life. But then there is sudden, dramatic change.

It can be overly traumatic when you find yourself in unwanted, unyielding change. Your closest friend moving away. having to take an elderly animal to a shelter. Being taken away by police. Having guns pointed at you. Being held at a mental health facility. Losing your place to live. And not knowing if the person you love with all your heart will ever speak to you again.

Those were (and some still are) the changes I have had to deal with.

I spent nearly a month moving and helping my love move into her new place. I had to find my own place and figure out how to live on a tight budget.

Fortunately, things are working out with my very special girl and me. I am scared to be alone at my place, but she has me over to hers often and for a few days at a time. The budget it massively different. And she cannot help me as much as she thought she could.

My life has changed a lot in the past month. I will not phone the police. I have a protective order against me (it will be dropped soon though). I've had to move into my own place alone. I haven't lived alone in about 10 years.

My girl says our relationship will be just fine even though we don't live together. Honestly, I'm not sure of that. How can people remain close if they live apart? How can we remain in love if there is fear or mistrust? I'm not sure if I feel okay about how things went. I'm not sure I feel okay... I really don't know.

All I know is that I was forced into changes. I have been traumatized and I am very unsure about how things will turn out.