The Beast within

Honestly, I've been very angry all day. I've wanted to beat things up and just tear into someone.

Every now and then I get into this mood where I want to kill someone. I want to hurt someone and watch them suffer and I want to methodically torture them. I never do anything about those feelings except let them go away. I'm afraid that one day I might snap and actually hurt someone.

I don't know how to make this go away. I don't know where it comes from. I just know that it is there and it is better for me to be quiet and withdrawn when I feel like this. I'm afraid to tell anyone about it. I don't want to be sent away because of these thoughts.

Thinking Thoughts

So. Here I am thinking about things. Depressed and lonely and tired. I don't really know why I'm any of those things. I guess maybe because I'm confused.

I am supposed to be with Dawn. She is supposedly my spouse. But I can't quite trust her. She finally got a job after over a year of Kat and I paying for everything for her. But now that she has a job, I expect her to leave. She left before. And we never see each other... I don't know.