Sierra

3 years ago Dawn asked if a family of four could come stay with us. They had been kicked out of their place and there were two kids. I agreed and once Dawn got to Oklahma city to pick them up she found they had four dogs. Two were their roommate's dogs and had been abandoned. We had just lost most of our pets so I agreed to take the dogs as ours. After everyone left. We still had these two dogs. Dawn was no longer living with us and Sierra, the little black chow mix, and Lucky, a yellow chow and retriever mix, were now part of our family. My younger brother passed away and we had to kennel the dogs.

In June of this year, we moved to a different house. (Dawn had moved back.) We had the dogs chained outside but we hadn't had a chance to make a dog house so the dogs were chained out side excpt during rain.

This morning I went to let the dogs out. They went running and wouldn't come back. Lucky went across the street and Sierra ran after him. She was hit by a pickup and went under it. She was just following her playmate and he made it faster than she did. She ran back to me had a couple spazzes and laid down and a few seconds later died. Her neck was broken.

I took her to the back yard and laid her down. The driver stopped in the road and probably saw her get up and run back to me and thought she was fine so they just kept going. I went to get Lucky from across the road so he didn't get hit too. I let him sniff Sierra then brought him in and told my roommates.

Dawn got a shovel and permission to burry Sierra from the Landlord's daughter. I burried her.

I lost all my strength after I told them. My legs gave out and I was crying. I had to hold on to things and pick myself up. I've never experienced grief like that. The tears came without burning. They just fell and fell. I'm not sure how I will deal with all this.

Surprise of Death

I had a bit of a shock today. I read that Steve Irwin died. It was some sort of freakish accident while filming a documentary. Stung in the chest by a sting ray. ~shaking my head~ It is weird. I had kind of felt a connection to him and his wild ways of filming and working with animals. I had wanted to meet him and visit the Australian Zoo. His death just kind of made the bottom fall out of my heart. It was as if I lost a close friend. The only other famous person's death that effected me like this was when Vincent Price died. I cried at the loss of someone whose voice could send shivers down my spine when he narrated a story. When I was a child, I wanted to meet him and have a chance to work with him. But of course that was a fantasy and one which was never met.

So now what do I do with this grief? Grief over a person I never knew, but felt connected to. It's like a journey that ends before you leave your driveway. The loss of a hope and dream.

Since I can remember, I have wanted to go to Australia. I felt there was this sort of Oregon, Australia connection. My days were consumed with ideas of exploration of the then secret outback. I wanted to see first hand these strange marsupial creatures that only exist on this island nation. I never lost my affection for Australia, nor the desire to go there. When the Crock Hunter started to be shown on animal planet, I was always eager to watch. Then I learned his wife was from Oregon. I grew up in Oregon and for me, Steve Irwin had made that Oregon/Australia connection. His wife was from a place just two hours north of where I was raised.

I may never wrestle a crocodilian or chase after deadly snakes. But this is my small tribute to someone who made a dream of mine a little more real.